The Origins of Coffee: A Caffeinated Tale

I don't have a lot of vices in my life. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs (the closest I have ever gotten was Saridon), or watch K-dramas. If there is anything I am afraid will take over my life one day and leave me completely dependent on its existence and availability, it's por- coffee.

Coffee is only the world's second most popular drink after Tea and forms 2% of the DNA of South Indians. (Did you know that South Indians can hear the word "Kaapi" from a distance of 734 metres? Facts.) It is considered the 3rd most basic flavour to ask for in desserts after vanilla and chocolate. Coffee gives us something to obsess about, discuss, and form multibillion-dollar corporations that exploit our inherent drug addiction. It can easily build or destroy relations with the people you love based on its availability within the first hour of your morning.

Bottom line is that coffee is vital to our survival, but it's a very controversial drink. But before we talk about that- I need some caffeine in my system, and also...

HISTORY LESSON!

Coffee has originated in Ethiopia, and if you are a storyteller at heart like me, you might find this interesting. I read this in a comic book when I was a child.

Once a shepherd called Kaldi saw his goats chewing on some berries and prancing in a lively manner. He ate those berries and found himself as elated as his herd. He took the berries to an old monk who made a brew from them which kept him awake at night during prayer and meditation. The monk shared this with the other monks of the monastery and soon it began to spread. The authenticity of the story is up for debate, but Ethiopia's largest coffee chain is called "Kaldi". So...a checkmark on the multibillion-dollar exploitation.

A Coffee house in Cairo, Egypt

Fast forward to the 17th century, An Indian pilgrim to Mecca known as Baba Budan smuggled seven coffee beans into his beard and planted them in the Chandragiri hills of Karnataka. From Yemen to Mysore, coffee made its way into the homes of the Indians. In the mid-19th century, due to the presence of the British, coffee exports started to flourish, and the culture of coffee spread rapidly in South India. At the end of the 20th century, the British established the Coffee Board of India which oversaw the research, promotion, and development of the coffee industry in India.

Today, we can enjoy this stimulating beverage anywhere from roadside stalls to extravagant cafes which charge you, in my opinion, a "little" too much for the SWILL they serve that they claim is coffee. Irrespective of our personal opinions, it is a global industry with very lucrative business opportunities. According to Stock Analysis, the world's most famous coffee chain, Starbucks, has an estimated net worth of 109.04 billion dollars. Starbucks made its way to India in 2012 in collaboration with the popular Indian brand, Tata. To this day, I have never tried Starbucks coffee (even though I went to their store a couple of times) and I refuse to do so. It is too complicated of a process for a simpleton like me, and I....get nervous to talk to them at the register...

(I am almost sure that Starbucks is freaking out right now...)

Another debate that has yet to see its end is whether coffee is good or bad for us. Now, I could cite a couple of sources online that provide evidence of research or "A recent study conducted on 12 participants says..." kind of deal, but instead, I will share with you a video of one of my favourite political-comedy late-night talk show on Netflix, Patriot Act, hosted by Hasan Minhaj. In this video, Hasan tackles the controversy behind coffee's potential benefits or risks in his unique style of humour.

My disdain for experiencing cafe coffee from popular coffee chains and expensive cafes arises from my childhood habits, my deep-rooted "kaapi" genetics, and my personal vendetta against making simple and minimalistic things/processes complicated...

But, don't let me stop you from enjoying your life to the fullest and savouring your daily routine's questionable addiction that keeps all of our mental engines oiled up, and lets us smile with our friends and family. The question is how far till we find the limit to consuming coffee so that we don't have to give it up........It will come one day and we have to be prepared for it. Until then, I will be enjoying my South Indian Filter Coffee, and cheers to whatever witch's concoction that you enjoy as well...

That's it for this time! See you next week!